emo mama



















today started shaky,
art room.
those who were there.
im sorry for breaking down in fornt of you all.
but yeah.
ended up laughing all the way.
and AMANDA LEE.
hahah.
so funny man.
both of us were th eonly ones who had trouble with our giro form.
then ms nuraini scold.
you dont wish to know what we did.
hahah.
then she say if we dont get it signed by today we cant take Olevels.
like DUH we went off right.
so we went off to Raffles Place to go her mum workplace.
then darn funny.
both of us were like darn hungry pls.
haha.
then we went off to my mum's workplace.
then we bought some fingerfood.(so called)
hahah.
thencab to school.
hahha.
reached like about 4 plus plus?
then went for band.
scared.
then yeah.
finished then went home with jassy&cai.
yeah.
darn funny.
was laughing all the way.
those who made my day today.
you are the only people i need.
thanks for all your advices.
love you guys from the bottom of my heart.


yemen here i come,
and goodbye singapore.


a place ill not see her.
a place ill start anew.
a place ill not be reminded of anything.
a place where i feel comfortable to change.
a place which im waiting impatiently to go.





after all the breakdown i had today,
my aunt called and asked me to accompany my cous to pasar malam.
i was reluctant.
but i thought to myself,
hey, i needa break.
so i went.
DARN FUNNY!
GOODNESS!
she got scolded from this GUY.
take note hes a GUY.
young one.
you knwo what my cous called him?
REPEATEDLY!
UNCLE!
HAHAHAHAHAH!
then she got scolding.
but only after the FIFTH scolding then she stop calling him UNCLE.
and burst out laughing.
hahah!
then walk walk walk.
suppose to buy like clothes or smth like tht ah.
ended up at smth like a one dollar shop.
THE SNACKS THERE ARE DARN FREAKING CHEAP.
hahha.
buy buy buy buy.
end up dont know how much also.
ha.
im so gonna bring to school tmrow.
hhaha.
then my cous totally has a DEPRIVED CHILDHOOD okaye!
she was looking at BARBIE stuff!
at least i not so bad.
bought power rangers sticker.
hahha.
a ya.
and the journey went on lar.
but ya.
she made me laugh my ass off.
hahaha,
thanks bilah.
she made jas laugh too.
ya,
and talked to nisha online.
thanks nisha for tht too.
madihah is funny.
and yeah.
i guess what you all said was right.
i have to try.
ok.
and thanks al for listening to me.
im sorry if i broke down for the first time in fornt of you.
i knew you were scared.
but i just had to talk to you.
thanks girl.



well look here girl
the show has ended
take a bow now




i cant take it.
i dont blame you.
i dont blame them.
im just the fucker in this story.
yeah.
i know.
just,
a yah.
im more disappointed in you both.
maybe im the bitch.
but you both are my goodfriends.
but.
ah yah.
fuck it la.
i dont know what else to do.
im not saying i cried just for the sake ok gaining pity.
i dont any of your pity.
cause this is my fault.
for holding on.
when theres nothing.
but i bathed,
more to because of you all.
not her.
im too tired bout her.
really.


i tried to hold these tears back,
but it seems that i just had to let it out.
maybe cause ive had enough.




girl,
you make me so weak
those eyes.
i swear.
FAINTS.
haha.
like seriously.
please dont say EEEE,
cause its a compliment you know.




open close open close
wondering if i should start the conversation



today.
you rmb?
i doubt you did.
last year,
this date.
i was on cloud 9+9+9+9+9.
but we didnt even last for a week.
memories memories,
thats whats left for me.
sad,
but still.
at least i have had memories with you.
and thanks for tht.



as the phrase goes,
so near yet so far.




I can see you clearly
Vividly emblazoned in my mind
And yet you’re so far
Like a distant star
We're only drifting apart, day by day




let me just summarise today.
everything sucks except for the concert and going home time.
with cai and jassy.
both of you.
i just need both of you to be happy.
seriously.
besides al and joyce and my class.
your the two closest juniors and friend to me.
i just want you both to know tht.

to whoever you may think this refers to.
everything tht i wanna say to you is alr in the letter.
i dont care wht your reaction be.
if thats IT for us even being friends,
i dont think you care anyway what right.
you have your other friends whom you love alot.
you dont need me.
you never did.
right?
to come to think of it,
you never really cared do you.
anyway,
i just want to thank you lar ok.
for everything.
in good ways in bad ways.
two years of waiting.
wow.
oh wells,
you dont care do you.
who am i right?
just a piece of shit waiting desperately for your attention only what.
just fucking little shit.
im just an irritant to you.
just a bugger.
everything i do seems to be wrong.
just everything.
i try so hard to please you.
i try so hard to understand.
but you just dont see all these.
now listen to me,
do what you want.
i wont say i dont care.
i do.
but i wont.
cause it seems tht thats what you want me to do right?
and not to msg you?
not to talk to you?
seriously,
if thats what you want.
ill do it all.
cause thats what YOU want me to do.
cause its all for you.




i can hear the wind murmuring,
wondering where you've gone.
tried to compose songs,
but it seems that my songs turned mute.
whats happening to me.




sing to me
once again
how you used to
in old days

anyways.
i went to CYCLE!
haha.
just now at ard 8 till like 9 plus plus?
wasnt looking so was like 'hit' by a car?
darn funny.
then the guy said some vulgar words.
i was like oookkk.
'consumed' some bruises.
oh wells.
had nice time cycling.
alone.
with the songs.
wah sei.
not emo wht.
till al called.
then talked till reached home.
yeah.
anyway tomorrow is NUS concert.
cant wait.




dont wake me up
let me drift into wonderland
cause thats the only place
im able to hold your hand


oh wells.
i didnt go for tuition.
im slcaking now at home.
im darn scared man.
i didnt pass up bio file.
ms poh's gonna scream at my face.
like shit ah.
i dont care bout getting demerit,
but i feel darn bad cause shes darn patient with me alr.
but i went overboard.
shish.
and i rlly had to go yest so cant meet her to explain.
like so shit pls.
darn darn darn.
dont feel like going school on monday.
but how long can i hide from her right.
so im gonna finish up like by monday mans.
i disappoint her enough i guess.
anyways,
tomorrow going for NUS concert.
looking forward in seeing the clarinet.
so cool lar.
ha.
and yar.
alfee,
miss you ABIT.
haha.
: )
but eyecandy also.
HAHA.




FIRST OF ALL.
WHY IS RAINTREE CALLED RAINtree.
she say its cause the water droplets get stuck on the leaves sooits forever raining.
correct meh.
zzt.
or isit cause it can be a shelter from getting wet under the rain.
fine i shant be random.


i just think we cant really seem to get along?
but im just curious on why isit so.
cause im hating it.
FUCK,
thast the word to describe how im feeling.
FUCK.
its so freaking tiring.
FEEFI WILL FREAKING SHUT UP.




this question has been on my mind since i saw it in the bus.
as in someone reading papers then i kpo kpo.
then saw the word.
hee.
why is raintree called RAINtree?
isit cause when it rains,
you go under the raintree then you wont get wet?
or isit cause it looks like umbrella?
why ah.



oh wells,
anyway.
YOU.
do you know tht sometimes i just give up.
cause your words sometimes can be super harsh.
you can be so cold.
like as if it wont hurt me like tht you know.
have you thought of how i feel?
seriously you know,
i can still joke ard with you when your darn cold.
but deep inside,
its the opposite if whats shown in the outside.
but somehow or another,
your smile heal it all.

/again i go unnoticed neglected ignored.




my heart melts
seeing you
my heart sank
cause of what you always do

okaye.
i like JUST woke up.
its alr 1135?
blea.
slept yesterday talked to jassy.
studied the moment i finished bathing.
yesterday's studying was rather more productive.
chem and maths.
DUH maths.
i can not study anythign the whole day but at least have to do two questions of maths.
yea call me weird.
but yeah.
anyway.
yesterday IJ exchange was darn fun.
i miss them.
sigh.
but yeah meeting on saturday.
woohoo.
: )



hey,
stop blaming me for being emotional can?
maybe its just me.
and i am deep.
and i think alot.
just leave me being me can?!



you know wht i feel like doing now?
just sit down and stare.
just stone.
just drift to imagination.
just like how i always do everynight.




i was thinking to myself.
not only for myself.
for jas.
maybe for joyce.
but not so much lar.
its like.
we think of them.
like ALMOST 247.
they dont even think of us lar pls.
its like okaye lar.
if got think also,
think for like few seconds?
few minutes?
sigh.
maybe its just the way it is lar.


then i was at her blog just now.
its like.
EVERYTHING her friend here.
her friend there.
her husband here.
her dog there.
EVVERYTHING.
AND ANYTHING.
BUT.
NOTHING bout me.
yeah.
shes not a loud hailer.
i know i know.
chillix man!
ha.
but im just wondering lar.
is it in her mind,
got NOTHING bout me?
isit her whole day,
there not even minute to spare to even THINK of me?
darn.
i dont know lar.
and her blog is forever happy.
mine is forveer EMO.
what is this manzzz.
ANYWAY,
im complaining cause...
i adnik ssim reh?
OH WELLS.














if only this world has no restrictions
no book no law
but we cant deny that there is
but theres nothing i can do anymore

cause i went too deep
and feelings went too strong





yoyo.
but i like the way it is now.
boys school coming for exchange.
clinch fist.
crack my bones.
haha JASSY!
nvmd.
trust.
trust jas.




im happy.
im happy.
im happy.
cause shes crazy.
shes crazy.
shes crazy.
she made my day-ee.
day-ee.
day-ee.
im insane now cant you see.
cant you see.



HAHAHAHA.
zzt!
im HIGGGGHHHH.
didnt take my medicine.
haha.
bye.




my heads spinning
everythings becoming irritating
i really cant find my way
or what the hack im thinking

what am i going for
after all these one year plus
how long can i hold on more
how long will it last

you told me off
so easily maybe without realising
it made my heart sank
but i know your not joking

its not with me whom you want to be
its not me who can keep you happy
but all i want you to do
is to feel my sincerity

i never expect for a reply
i dont expect for a karma(good way)
whatever i do is all just for you
even though without doing anything also i kena

i hope even though if you dont want ANYTHING t do with it
you would allow me to enjoy these time left with you
even though thats not what youve been doing
but whatever i try to do
it still come back to you.


im thinking of myself.
has she ever felt touched?
has she ever gone,"oh so sweet."
has she ever find my words assuring?
anything.
doubt it anyway.
stupid,
fee your such a loser.




I WANT THIS DOUBLE DECKER BED. bleah!
JOYCEY AT MY HOUSE.
STUDYING AT ANOTHER SIDE OF THE TABLE.WHICH BELONGED TO HER THOSE DAYS.
CUTE RIGHTZXZXZXZ! HAHA! FUNNY FUNNY MANS!
I KNOW I LOOK DARN UGLY. BUT HEY! WHO CARES. BETTER THAN BEING THE MASCOT. HAHAHA.





bite my tongue
to hold these tears
clinch my fist
to hold the anger
confusions fill my mind
my life's turning absurb.




anyway,
today was sports day.
even thoguh fearon lost,
and we were quite disappointed,
i really really enjoyed my last sports day with st margs.
seriously.
all the cheers.
with my friends.
those who were my foes became my friend for today.
haha.
but yeah.
and bout being the mascot.
ok dont say lar.
so malu.
MRS KWOK bully me!
goodness.
haha.
ask my tie hair not enough.
then she came with a RED RIBBON.
haha.
then shes like.
so cuuuteee, girl girl...kawaii pose!
hahahahahah!
MRS KWOK le!
hahaha!
yeah yeah.
then went out with cai jassy gerald and bridget.
but dont know wht happen end up with the three of us again.
BUT,
yeah.
had fun.
went to jassy house.
then watched movie and ate KFC.
BUT,
i slept.
hee.
i snored. (oops.)
a yar.
too tired lar.
haha.
waited for that girl to come.
but she rmb she got tuition.
so she didnt come.
yeah.
then i slept back.
haha.
how piggy can i be.
now going off to queensway.
cai wanna shop.
so yeah.
bye.




what am i doing now.
i have no clue.
darn it.




아기,
dont shed a tear,
cause ill love you,
like no one ever did.




Take a photograph,
It'll be the last,
Not a dollar or a crowd could ever keep me here,

I don't have a past
I just have a chance,
Not a family or honest plea remains to say,

Rain rain go away,
Come again another day,
All the world is waiting for the sun.

Is it you I want,
Or just the notion
Of a heart to wrap around so I can find my way around

Safe to say from here,
Your getting closer now,
We are never sad cause we are not allowed to be

Rain rain go away,
Come again another day,
All the world is waiting for the sun.
Rain rain go away,
Come again another day,
All the world is waiting for the sun.

To lie here under you,
Is all that I could ever do,
To lie here under you is all,
To lie here under you is all that i could ever do,
To lie here under you is all,

Rain rain go away,
Come again another day,
All the world is waiting for the sun.
Rain rain go away,
Come again another day,
All the world is waiting for the sun,
All the world is waiting for the sun,
All the world is waiting for the sun




those tears you cry,
ill wipe.
those neglections you felt,
ill erase.
those hurt you got,
ill heal.
those times i wasnt there,
ill replace.
those rejections you got,
ill return.
everything you need,
ill do it for you.
araso 아기?
: )


all the hurt ive got,
i know you'll heal it all.




sarangheyo, means i love you.


私は愛する
and
あしくる,
al teach me.



talking to sharon.
shes like so crazy over dont know who called june also.
haha.
siao ding dong.
then chatting with alfee.
alfee say im smart!
yes i am.
no need to say actually.
i alr am.

나는 너를 놓친다 ,
means i miss you.
나는 너를 사랑한다,
means i love you.
(so long then meaning so short.weird.haha.dots.OH WELLS,)




you answered me.
short and simple.
oh wells,
after you said tht.
all my questions answered then.
a yar.
i dont know how to feel also.
a yar.
one year plus.
near to two years.
a yar.
i also dont expect a relationship.
never did.
since the last time.
too afraid i guess.
but a yar.
dont know lar.



ANYWAYS,
today was not bad.
yeah.
: )



/eyecandy heals it all : )




isit POLLY or TOLLEY put the kettle on.
then SUSAN take it out again right?
goodness.
wht deprived childhood i have.
haha




today was HELL fun.
haha.
went out with cai and jassy.
as usual.
but today so funny.
cant rmb wht we exactly did.
but i know it was fun.
haha.
yeah.
my class was also darn funny today.
even teachers.
MISS POH lar.
haha.
imitate jimin.
hahaha!
laugh non stop for goodness.
anyway yeah.
thats all i guess.


everything's fine.
i guess.


you have time for
everybody,
anything,
but not for me.


but nevermind.
forget it.
i wont let it spoil my day.

bold italics underline



please.



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