i miss her.
thats for sure.
but i just cant tell her.
she doesnt even know.
how i wish.
just how i wish.
i could just tell her that once more.


hey YOU.
i miss you.
alot.
i know you wont even know this refers to you.
but at least ive let it out.

all they know is HER HER HER.
but they dont know.
that i like no one else except you.

but it does not go the same for you.
just by a day.
you can be unfaithful.
i rather love you from far.

but no ones ever gonna be you.

; note to self
i miss you terribly
this is what we call a TRAGEDY
come back to me
come back to me
to me


; sing to me
once again
in your room
like old days
speak to me
and pretend
how we used to
in old ways




you
took care of me since young
you
took care of me when no one's around
you
always scold me when im in the wrong
you
made me laugh by your oldies songs
you
made sure i have food when im hungry
you
always fight for the toilet with me
you
scream at my face when i bully adik
you
sometimes your scoldings i just cant take
you
made sure i was responsible for what im doing
you
made sure i wont be late for school in the morning
you
will knock on my door till it irritates me
you
always threaten me to do something by using bee


but too bad now your gone
its just left with memories
i just regret not spending enough time with you
but nyayi your the one that i always miss.


to my late grandmother.




im back.
soccer just makes my day seriously.
before prelims.
in my mind was just prelims prelims and just prelims.
now...
its just bout fun.
BUT.
only till this sunday.
after that.
back to studies.
my mind just have to be focus on N levels.
prelims will kinda be screwed.
so just have to work hard forN s.
ANYWAY.
just now.
had bio and art.
lets dont talk bout that.
okaye.
then rushed to soccer field.
with belinda bay and shal.
play play play.
burnt my feet.
damn pain please.
but fine.
okaye.
i was the stupid one.
hee.
its cos i was so pissed la.
instead of the BALL that flies,
it was my SHOE!
when took my shoe,
my SOCKS flew!
i got so pissed i just took my shoes and socks off.
haha.
then play play.
al came along.
she talk to bay while i team up with joycey and jeslynn to play
against 6sec ones.
yea.
3 against 6.
the 6 had goalkeeper.
we three left the goalpost free to them.
but ended up we scored
7-0.
haha.
they so cute.
then jes and joycey went off.
bahar came along.
grace cherry and vithia(is that how you speel it?hee)
al was buggin me to go off
end up she talk to the rest.
so slowly me and vithia played basketball.
then all of us went to minimart.
grace begged al and me to stay.so we stayed.
then played many many penalties with bahar and vithia.
HAHA.
BAHAR DAMN FUNNY!(not suprised.haha)
she is the PRO in not catching ball.
haha.
keep on saying she can goal then she halfway keep
then take the ball and dash into the goalpost.
thats GOAL for her.
haha.
went off at around 5plus.
ya.
tomorrow my class's gonna play.
half of the class..
i dont know.
ya.
will be damn fun man!
oh ya.
i saw my batik.
im damn proud of myself la when i saw my batik.
haha.
all of us started taking pictures of our batiks.
anyway.
going out with jas al bahar grace and vithia on sat.
lotsa fun we're gonna have.
confirm wan.
bahar will be there wad/
haha.
okaye i think thats all.
bye.




hey.
just came home.
SUPPOSED to go out with jean.
then SOMEONE dont allow.
what the.
haha.
now gonna study.
hee.
talking to jiasemin.
haha.
anyway.
bye bye.
tmoro last paper!
YAY!
gonnaplay....
SOCCER.
haha.
byebye.



you doing thing you do
breaking my heart into a million pieces
like you always doooooooo


weee!
i wanna pee.
you cannot see.
if you think im lame then IGNORE ME.


my gawd.
im getting lamer day by day.
thats bAD...

HAHA.
dots.
bye bye.




am i hyper?
i think so.
am i sad?
maybe.
am i happy?
most probably.
am i lame?
YES YES.
haha.
dots.
im just high la okaye.


im so happy
im so happy
happy day
happy day
very dry and comfy
very dry and comfy
huggies dry
huggies dry
HAHA!

told you im HIGH!


shes so hiiiiiiiiiigggggggghhh.
high above me.
hes so lovely.
(thank you thank you!HAH)



love me for who i am.
but not for them.
am i making sense?
NO.

okaye okaye.
fee.
stop being lame.
ah lama.
haha.




hey you all.
im missin alot of people now.
i miss alfee.
i miss the ones.
i miss jean.
i miss.
suprisingly this fren of mine.
cos that time when conferencing.
they were like saying bring me along to the toilet.
straightaway i thought of my fren.
cos last time when we talk on the phone.
she'll be like i dont care bring me to the toilet.
haha.
then every single time i bath also must bring her along.
as in the phone.
haha.
then i was telling alfee that i let my cat eat the plants outside my house.
then i laugh to myself.
cos that time when i talk to this fren of mine.
then i say i hungry then no food.
she always ask me to eat the plants outside my house okaye.
haha.
talk till sleep on the phone.
when never contact each other for few days,
we'll try to pay back.
haha.
then every night her maid will nag.
a ya.
nice times la.
if you know who you are,
take care :))




tomoro's prelim.
but its not exam which is on my mind now.
yea i studied.
everything.
but its not exam thats really inside.
its you.
fuck it.
how.
damn me.




i have to let this feelings out.
i dont think i can keep it inside anymore.

in the past.
who made me depress.
you.
who made me fucking sad.
you.
who made me CRY.
you.
who made me go high.
you.
who did i sacrifice everything for.
you.
who do i look forward in meeting.
you.
who do i care most about.
you.

but HEY.
get up!
thats the past.
now is now.
im glad all thats over.
to all my frens who cares bout me.
i know ive been having on and off feelings for her.
and all of you got pissed when you know im in contact with her.
and i know its all for my own good.
i know you all care for me.
and i really appreciate that.
thanks you guys.
ill listen to you all.
as some of you say.

the past is past;
it'll never return
we have to get them out of our head
even though it burns.


ANYWAY.
today celeb HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!
SO HYPER I TELL YOU.
made frens with few sec ones i think.
cos i was like "bullying" them.
haha.
they were so dead.
then i was like. MOVE man.
haha.
then they laugh.
then we made frens and all.
fun la.
haha.
then rushed to SOCIAL STUDIES.
my gawd!
i was like paying attention la.
after that rush to meet al and jas.
waited for bu for 45 minutes.
then went town.
met up with bahar and grace.
damn funny la.
then walk walk walk until cenei.
so fun.
took neos and all.
and then me bahar al and jas took bus.
but all except bahar dropped off at school bus stop.
it was nice of al to follow me back to art room and help me out.
and my frens are okaye with al.
and then we went macs.
after that...
went HOME.
but al was dizzy in the bus.
so asked her to take cab home from my house there.
then she went home.
and here i am!
haha.



maybe.
if the cut gets deep,
im no more the one who'll be there to care.
im sorry but i got to move on with my own life.
i dont know.




yo
im frigging stress now.
with art and exams REALLY near.
my gawd.
seriously will grow many white hair kaye.
haha.
anyway had art AGAIN today.
but was kinda impressed with myself after mrs lester kinda praised me.
but after i look at the TONS of work that i needa do.
i was like die die die.
haha.
then went home with al.
ya.
she dropped my phone okaye.
it dint only DROP.
it BOUNCED okaye!
haha.
damn funny.
but so heartbreaking la.
hmph.
ALFEE LAW AH.
haha.
oh ya!
the food!
thanks alfee!!
the food is DELICIOUS!
HAHA.
seriously okaye.
not only me okaye.
my frens say that too.
haha.
they ask you cook again.
haha.
can can?
hha.
thanks.
thats all peeps.
bye :)




whats in my mind?
you know what i dont know.
its funny if i think it over.
i feel so stupid.
haha.
never mind.
all thats over.
im starting all over.
whatever she says now
i cant buy it.
anymore.
ANYWAY.
fucking hell.
stupid you.
your reactions are just damn cute la okaye.
but i cant stand in that person's way.
so i have lay my hands off you.
i rather be alone than to stand in that person's way.
fuck it.
im just too late.
damn.


all you think is her;
do you notice me?




YOyoYO.
zzt zzt zzt zzt zzt zzt.
dots.
haha.
today is a fun fun day for me..
hee.
okaye.
morning met up with al at my house bus stop there.
then took 961.
then reach school alr i felt damn thirsty la.
hee.
then i pulled al along to go grab a drink.
we sat there until the bell rang.
then lessons start.
first up was maths.
had test fukkin difficult.
but nvmd.
then had art.
but for me is free lesson.
so me ab flo and rach practice the song.
after that RECESS!.
hee.
i was so hungry but yet had to go for tuff!
cos i alr have to go for DETENTION for TUFF okaye.
die die die.
haha.
then ran with joy and nisha.
damn fun la.
haha.
funny also.
actually ran/walk 10 rounds.
blea.
not tired wad.
then sweat like mad.
haha.
then next was ENGLISH.
this one whole class die.
all kena scolding from ms shen.
sigh feel so guilty la.
im gonna study hard ms shen!
yea!
seriously.
then SOCIAL STUDIES.
yay!
love this part.
i love it when he doesnt nag but giv us work to do instead.
cos i will tend to focus.
just now i focus so much until i....
doze off.
AWHILE.
haha.
but after that went back to work.
then i was so freaking happy la.
he PRAISED my work for the very very FIRST time okaye.
so happy la.
hee.
i shall continue my hard work.
haha.
then after that bla blabla.
then had art.
met jas and went dinner.
thats all peeps.
bye


i like you;
but you dont know

bold italics underline



please.



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