okok.sorry ive not been updating ya.hee.com is down.my father purposely dun wanna pay de bil.so i cant use!but nvmd.a month more.and its FREEDOM!YAY!aniwae.ya.exams are coming!im mugging!yea.anything msg me la.cos i wont be coming online.yup.till later after exams!!hee.i love studying!wee!it rocks!!hahhaa.cant believe it but i love studying now!hahah!NERD!yay!hahha!aniwae.ya.now in computer lab.yup.suppose to do some art stuff.yea.sigh.okla.dun feel like blogging.sigh.


maybe i will never get you.
since you dun want to go on.
its ok.
i respet your decision.
but i just hope that we can stay closeForever.
cos ill be weak without you.
pls stand by me.
without you here,
there is dis emptiness in me.
dinnoe dat ill actually feel dis way.
wat i can tell you now is dat my feelings for you is true.
how i wish you have de same feelings as me too.
but it will never happen.
i noe.
and im ok wif it.
as long as you are der.
ill wait.
no matter wat.




halo.its been a LONG time i never update.now in de library yea.wif brudder and alex.hahah.got tuition later seh.arggh!amiwae.exams are coming.so yea.dats why.oh ya.din go online for a LONG time cos my com broke down!argh!but nvmd.no temptation!nuthign to distract me from studying.hee.ok.byebye.lazy to type.hee.!byebye!




So much emotion built up inside this chest
So many people I don't see making me stressed
Teeth clenched, fists tight
Nothing is ever going to be all right
Deep breaths, shut eyes
I can't keep back the cries

Crimson tears fall to the floor, showing my defeat
Creating a puddle around my feet
Aching body, lonely mind
The beauty that once was me, I can no longer find
Now I'm locked up behind all these scars
Shouting up to the stars

Encouraging wordsI've never heard
Thought you were always there
No matter what, you said you cared
But what happens when you don't know what to say?
What happens when you can't have things your way?

I swore that I'd always be around
To help you up off the ground
And I kept my promise, why can't you?
Why can't you show me that your true?
Instead of living in your own world of pretend
And lying to me all over again
You said you'd miss me, I remember what you said
And I knew this day would be one that I'd dread
You corrected yourself today, said you didn't miss me
You stabbed me in the back, when you said this
I can't believe that four years is going to rot like rust
I can't believe your going to blow me away like dust


gosh dis poem is so nice la.kinda emotional now,sigh.i jus love d epoem.




sometimes you ignore,
sometimes you forget,
although you're always mean,
ive never regretted that we've met,

you always get angry,
you always get mad,
but have you ever thot of me,
and all the time how ive felt?

wen you talk nicely and sweetly,
it really will makes my day,
ill always try to make you smile,
all come wat may,

im sorry if ive made my mistakes,
by making you angry all the time,
you can just scold me hit me do watever you wan,
just as long as you're always fine,

wat matters to me now,
is dat ull be happy all dae,
id do anything for you,
is dis wat a best fren will always sae?

well im sure dat im not doing a good job,
im soory dat ive let you down,
but i promise ill try my best,
n0t to ever make you frown.

hmm.ok.is dis still muchy?is dis is stil,den i really donowat to do already.cos im trying my BEST not to be mushy anymore.i jus felt lik writing poem so yea.




well actually i wanted to post de lyrics for "she's no you" song here but lazy.i jus realise dat dat dat song means alot to me.after wat has happen yest.yup.im jus happy dat both of us said wat we wanna sae.just hope dat our friendship wont just fade away.lets jus put wat has happened behind and imagine it as part of a "play",cos i dun wan because of it it clashes wif how we behave,i understand too dat we should not over do it,im very sorry i guess got too carried away.but i promise you dat nuthing lik dat wil happen again,so pls dun be moody anymore cos it really pains.well as u said, you dun me to fall in to IT.well if you wanna noe.yes i did.but i woke up and gave myself a slap,cos i dun wanna lose DE BEST frenship ive ever had.but jus wanna tel you de truth.after wat uve told me yest,now i have alot of restrictions on wat ill say.cos im worried if you wil get de wrong idea,so dast now my greatest fear.i tink ive said enough to tel you wat i mean and feel.i jus feel kinda relieve dat ive said everything out.

now i dono wat to do and wat not to do.
cos im all so confused.
im trying to cut down all de mushy stuff,
cos i noe now it gives you de GOOSES.
if you noe wat i mean.
i jus cant chnage de fact dat im a gurl.
so ya.
thanks for telling me all dat yesterday.
now i noe how u feel bout it.





me and shahirah!

my "botak" part!paiseh!

depress RETARDED!haha!

me and retarded afetr had our shower!fresh!hahh!

us FOUR RETARDS!=)




i will still remember your face.
that moment when you stabbed me
allowed me to see your true self.
you werent the person i knew long ago.

i never thought you would do that to me
i made a grave mistake.
to trust you.

you watched me dying.
on the floor.
with fresh blood.
you left without a word.

makes me sad.
and lonely.
the minute before i left the
dark world
i told myself not to leave
and i NEVER will

look for me.
im right BESIDE you.
watching you with me bloody eyes.
remember me always.i will haunt you forever.

COPYWRITED BY POCHU!HAHAH!NICENICE!





candid shot?

all the retards for de dae?!HAHAH

anaconda and me!

retarded rach,ame and shahirah!hah!

retarded RACHELKOHSHIYI~!





candid shot?

all the retards for de dae?!HAHAH

anaconda and me!

retarded rach,ame and shahirah!hah!

retarded RACHELKOHSHIYI~!




woohoo!jus now was lik funfunfun!
hahah!actually we went to east coast.
i was lik LATE!again!hahah!got no choice but to take cab!
cos of AMELIA NOH!ya.hahah.
den i went den took cab wif de juniors to east coast.ame n sharon took another.
haha.den reach la.we were very PATTY on which place to sit ok.haha
den we sat down bought food n drinks den talk.
den shahirah called and ask where are we.
den end up ask me to pick dem up to sit wif us.
hahah!so we have COMBINE SECT!
hahah!it was FUN!
we din care hu got clothes or not.we jus pull them in!hahah
den me,ame,shahirah and sharon were being crazy can!hahah!
hahha.if i were to describe wat we actually did.no one wil read my entry ok!haha
ok.den me and shahirah rent de 2 seat bicycle la.den we FAILED to ride it k.
i sat de front shahirah de back!hahah!ya..den so on.
hahha.den we had to go yoke wan house to bath ok!cos de shower SUCKS!
yup.den went der to bath.den took bus to interchange den went home!
in de mrt!god!more than 20 stops!but we survive!
yup.den took 184 home lor.yup and here i am!ok.im dam tired.i shal jus blog de pics la ok.
byebye.




*snores*
*stretch*
a VERY "good" MORNING!
woke up VERY EARLY!
cos i woke up wif ego part.
den played guitar..den too sick of it so on de com lor!
im dam bored and tired now.
thanks to my dad n sharon hu called me up again wen i was sleepin!
my dad best ah!i thot u sae ur section outin 8o'clock!
wah!actually jus an hour ago i told him its at 1030!
ahhh!
den str8 away i cant sleep anymore.im so gonna sleep during section outing.
aniwae its TODAY!as in section outing TODAY!
ya.sigh.tired.
we going east coast.to dono do wat oso.im so gonna sleep while they play watveer la.
im gonna lie down on de mat and SLEEP!
NO ONE's gonna disturb or else ah.
they DIE!
hahha.im serious!aniwae yala.i tink im gonna watch tv la.com so boring!
haha.bye!

sometimes i just dun understand you you noe dat.
sometimes ur ok.sometimes ur not.
den ill be de victim.
i always try my best to keep you happy and away from all sorrows.
but i jus need you to allow me to do dat.
but seems to me ur not giving me a chnace at all.
not as anythign but as a fren.
i hate to see you sad.
i hate seeing anybody sad.
pls.
just give me a chnace to be der for you.
pls.









ok.yesterday was fun man!haha!firstly.is dat i couldnt wake up on time.SOMEONE tried to cal me MILLION times but couldnt get thru cos my fon no network.haha.so woke up late.haha.so instead of meeting at 1030 i met them at 1045.hee!sorry you guys.oh ya!den i sat wif a GAY!yucks!out of de blue moon.HE/SHE talk to me can!yucks!pink hair!pink spaghetti stripes!curly hair!AHHH!DISGUSTING!den HE/SHE ask me.pink lip gloss nicer or silver lip gloss nicer.den i was lik HUH?sorri.i dun wear dis kinda stuffs so i dono.den i kept quiet!eww!den suddenly he ask me.prada nicer or LV.in my mind i was lik got such brand called prada ah?den i answered him.i was lik QUICKSILVER?den HE/SHE was lik huh?den i was lik sorry i gotta go.den i went off.HAHAHAHHAH.den faster meet them.everyone was so CLEAN minded la.hahaha.den its lik ya.den we went to eat at coro.den after we went back to skewl.I WAS WEARING HOME CLOTHES!DAM PAISEH SIA!den went band room.teach juniors first.den afetr til around 2 plus i met brudder.to go my house.den wen we doing rite.both of us were lik..err..brudder u got mood..den both of us lik dam sian la.hahha.so we were lik lets go cut hair!haha.so we went.its DAM "NEAR" to my house wat.rite brudder.hahah.den skali de shop dat we wanna go CLOSE.AGAIN.so we went to another shop.de shop aunties ROCKS MAN!for de first time give me new style sia.i dono to other ppl.but i tink its nice.hahah.EGO.sori ah.den brudder oso cut.haha.its dam funny ok.den b4 we went home we made sure dat our hair not spiky cos of.SUM1.ya.haha.den me n brudder act dam guai la.den went to auntie house.sack.den came back to do project again.dono why but both of us NO MOOD.den finish up a LIL bit.den took pictures.haha.den we went my aunt house.den watch FANTASTIC4!haha.but me n brudder besides watchin de movie.we were waiting for SUMTHING impatiently la.den both of us dam sad.n SLEEPY.haha.ya.den brudder left around near to eleven?hahha.i sent her off.we were lik so crazy at de bus stop la.we even forgot its ELEVEN PM not AM.hahha.yup.dats al.




sometimes i wonder wats in your mind,
whether ur fine or ur down,
cos you dun find the time to talk to me,
and den wihtout any reason,ULL JUS FROWN,

do you tink its fare for me?
for me to be treated this way,
well if dis is wat which makes you happy,
as you wish is wat ill say,

cos ur happiness id wat matters,
as i dun wish to make you unhappy,
so id do practically ANYTHING for you,
but i jus need you to allow me....

well.dis doesnt make sense huh.hahah.i myself dun understand.hahah!





JOYCE LOW KUAN HUI!
MY BRUDDER.
IN SEDIA POSITION!
MUAHAHAHAHAAH!




yup.okay.well today is basically TUITION HMWK dae!last minute work!hee.but mr michael was impressed cos i did all his hmwk.and i realy mean ALL.hhahha.told him i failed 2.yup!bahahah!!he was lik so you passed.den iw as lik.err ya!den he was lik...oh..good for you!hahah!tel you ah!bang on his face la!hahhahha!kinda disappointed in my malay.gosh!53!!!can you believe it!53?!?!?how pathetic can de marks be man!im so gonna pull up my socks!really high!hahha.yup.dne now jus came back.dad fetched me.den here i am in front of de com.AGAIN.hee.yup.ok.den came back.den went to my blog.my mood totally spoilt sia.haiz.but hu cares la!i shal not be bothered by anything!im HAPPY!woohoo!ok.my guitar!its to temptin!im so gonna play it NOW!hahha!byebye!

sometimes we just have to let go...




watveer la.




I N T R U D E R A L E R T
hi!!!i'm here to intrude again...i'm just bored...lolz..
nothing to do...sept holidays...
WEDNESDAY!!!BAND EXAM!!!ARHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
lolz..i'm insane...
i shall stop intruding for now...tata
I N T R U D E R A L E R T

-gladys was here =)




hey.well dis is for referring to de ME in my blog.well.jus wanna sae dat you mean alot to me.and seriosuly i tink one day without you rite.life is such a CHORE.BORE!EMPTY!yup.i mean i oso noe dat we're suppose to forget dat il be going overseas after dis 2 years.but seriosuly.for de past 3 months we've been bestfrenz,i dono how im gonna live without you lor.den its lik we everyday!EVERYMINUTE wil msg.cant imagine how im gonna survive there.sigh.de previous letter really touched my heart.i wanna let you noe dat ill always be here for you no matter wat.even if im busy ill DEFINITELY stil e here for you.anything for you.i promise ill never let you down or let you go.i dono if i deserve dis rank in ur heart but im sure ill never wanna let you go.ur eveyrwhere in me.in my mind,my heart,my sogs,my poems.EVERYWHERE.dat shows how important you are to me.you are oso de one hu either make me laugh or make me cry.dun have to be sad f im going.cos jus wanna tle you dat ur NEVER forgotten.i jus close my eyes and i can see ur face.so it doesnt realli matter im here or away.dis song is oso sucky but i jus wish dat you wil like it cos it really means alot..

you are my angel,
my oni angel,
who guides me wherever i wanna go,

shes my joy lord
and shes my hoppee,
without her lord i cant live no more.

i need her all de time,
cant believe dat shes mine,
i need her to be here,
cos wif her i have no fears...

its not yet complete..but im gonna complete it by wen skewl reopen.hee!love ya lots.and NO ONE can ever replace you.hope i can never be replace by anyone huh.hee.except for ur ashton kutcher and harry potter.hahha!im now waiting for your mag.you having church.




well.firstly i was kinda in a good mood.yup.started during band.starting of de bandpractice we had mr tan's suprise thingy.yup.someone made my day la.thanks dearie.well you noe hu yu are.so dats enough for me.=)
de letter was very sweet.words cant decribe how i felt d emoment i read de letter.im not ego or watsoever.dis is comin form my inside.i realli did all dos stuff sincerely.not forced to do.so do not get tensed up if u dun get me anyhting.jus tel me wat you wan and *puff* ill get it for you.for you its anyhting ya.so even if i hurt myself jus to get you somthing,its really NUTHING.yup.so dun worry.

yup.den to my dearest fren hus kinda angry wif me cos we kinda quarreled today during band.yup.im realli sorry.ok.i mean im kinda pissed la.i mean outta all ppl.YOU.dun truz me.kinda disappointed la.ya.i mean i cant do anythign if you dun truz me rite.so yup.jus hope dat you understand.




ok.hyona ask me to update.so im updating.HAPPY NOW?ANJING!hahahah!ok.yup.im so BORED!ahhhhh!hyona is too!hahhahah!announcement everyone.HYONA DOESNT ROCK MORE THAN ME,FIFI!FIFI ROCKS MORE THAN HYONA!hahahahahahha!hyona thinks FIFI ROCKS!fifi is de GREATEST one!ok!i update already!hahahahha!




ok.yest was de teahcers day celeb!hahah!i performed!i was de pinochio!bleax!hhaHAA!den for de first time i perform wif de nose la.cos dew other time i rehearse i dun have de long nose.so its lik ya.not used to it.den perform.wen i dance de thing kleep going up and down.ahhaha!i was lik laughin at myself.haha.oh ya.den its lik b4 de performance start i was wearing de nose.and wen i was walkin i always forgot dat i ahve long nose.so jus walk.den skali hit de door.nose pain sia.den de other casts were lik playing wif my nose la.hahah.oh ya.den cos of dis thigny i gotta noe some other ppl la.ya.became very close.yup.den after de thing.me,alex,brudder and frances went to eat at mcs.wanted to go town but din go at last.cos all of us were dead tired.den afetr ame,alex and me went eileen house.den met alyssa,joycelyn and sonia.haha!joycelyn was lik "DRUNK" la.hahha.den we watch SHREK1!haha!ya den i had to rush home.hee.anyway it was a great experience la.yup.aniwae im lik alone at home now cos my mum and dad workin den brudder followed dad to work.so yup.practically bored.but decide to study today.so yea.afetr dis im gonna study.yup.i guess till here for today.

i really wanna tel you how i really feel bout everyting.all dis while we sound as if we are together.but WE ARE NOT.ya.i noe its impossible cos your against it.and i respect it too.cos ill do anything to make you happy.and i hope you noe dat.but i jus need you to be der for me.and ill be happy.being wif you,chatting wif you.smsin you has been JOY in my life.im glad i met you.without you,my life wil be empty.so yea.im also afraid to tel you all dis cos im scared dat ill lose you as my great fren.and i DUN WAN dat to hjappen EVER.so i shal jus remain friends ya.losing you wil be my greatest REGRET and FEAR.ill do anythign to make you happy.smile likyou always do.remain de way yu are beside me,smiling lik you always do.i wish i could give you my tears.so ur free to cry.wish dat i could be de one der for you.

bold italics underline



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