i just want to mention how fantastic carissa abidin
ABIDIN
is. so great and awesome man. i wish i was like her




nothing to blog.
all i can say.
ive told you all once i let go, it'll turn to hatred.
thats whats happenning now.
when i see, my blood will boil.
my body stiffens.
dont know la.
just dont wish to see you anymore.
do me a fav by not coming my way/
thanks.




get out
you are not a bitch
but i know now i hate you
i m sick of you
dont come my way
you may like the memories
ya i like it too
but i wanna forget it
i want to erase it
together with the memories of you too
its hard to say this
but i know its time to say it
i m not your blardy spare tyre
that when you dont have anyone i ll be here for you
i m sick of it
i m sick of all the shit you put me through
you may disagree or hate me after this
but i dont farking care
be happy with your life
you pretend i never exist
i ll do the same
ya thats all
once more, you are not a bitch
you are just ....
someone i wish to forget
i know you are happy after i say this
i m glad i did too
so you
god bless
thanks for all
bye // was i so blind to fall for you




say it only when you mean it
dont say it if you havnt thought it through
you were nv a bitch to me after what you have said to me i bet now you are not thinking the same way
forget it.
ya lah bye.
goodnight.
jasmines so nice(:
feefee is making milo.
jasmine is being such a GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD friend by accompanying the scaredy cat, oh, or shall i say pig.
feefee, be nice too(:




the time i waited
the time i sacrificed
the time my efforts went
all just to be with you

the time i made sure you're always happy
the time i made sure you smile
the time i neglected my friends
all just to be with you

all the neglections
all the confusions
all the depressions
all just to be with you


but you never see it,
well you never do.


ANYWAYS.
jean made me addicted to blardy hell korean dramas okayes.
shit head her la.
haha.
but i cant deny they are nice to watch.
haha.
going out with jean.
late meeting jasmine.
she coming my house.
and my house,
there.
haha.
lame poke.
byes.




alfee law.
thanks for always being there.
i just thought i should thank you.
cause seriously you NEVER fail to be there.
sincerely im saying this,
thank you.
: )
and oh ya.
haha.
thank you for always missing me.
and always reminding me that if she doesnt care
there are other people who love and care for me.
thanks for also always singing the 'ill be there for you' song.
making sure tht i know your always there for me.
thanks girl.
who cares if your sec one.
friendship has no age limit.
haha.
love you to bits.
: )




I FEEL BLARDY SHIT NOW.
DARN IT MAN.
SHIT ME LA.
FARK




yesterday went vivocity.
went with cousins and jean.
walk walk walk.
tht place nothing interesting except for
the CANDY EMPIRE!
YUMMS!
haha.
then walk walk.
then my aunt treated us to a movie.
wanted to watch horror ended up watching MATERIAL GIRLS.
not my type of show la.
but actually the show not so bad lar.
yea.
jean is a LIAN.
haha.
i whole day disturb her tht.
cause she wear like lian.
but okayes.
wont lie.
you look nice.
haha.
then went home.
and slack the whole time.
yea.
thts all.


today.
SUPPOSE to meet jasmine at 1030.
BUT.
i woke up at like 11?
haha.
as usual.
me and JAS lei.
DUH.
not suprised.
then went for band.
band was kinda like scary.
cause mr tan was very angry.
but what he said was true.
yea.
bu beside that point was good.
but extra tired.
yea.
went to eat at coro as usual.
then sent caiyan to the bus stop and waited
for an air-con 93 bus.
then went off.
thats all.
okayes.
going out now.
byes.




its impossible to forget
but possible to neglect
im trying to face the truth
your never coming back




yesterday went vivocity.
went with cousins and jean.
walk walk walk.
tht place nothing interesting except for
the CANDY EMPIRE!
YUMMS!
haha.
then walk walk.
then my aunt treated us to a movie.
wanted to watch horror ended up watching MATERIAL GIRLS.
not my type of show la.
but actually the show not so bad lar.
yea.
jean is a LIAN.
haha.
i whole day disturb her tht.
cause she wear like lian.
but okayes.
wont lie.
you look nice.
haha.
then went home.
and slack the whole time.
yea.
thts all.


today.
SUPPOSE to meet jasmine at 1030.
BUT.
i woke up at like 11?
haha.
as usual.
me and JAS lei.
DUH.
not suprised.
then went for band.
band was kinda like scary.
cause mr tan was very angry.
but what he said was true.
yea.
bu beside that point was good.
but extra tired.
yea.
went to eat at coro as usual.
then sent caiyan to the bus stop and waited
for an air-con 93 bus.
then went off.
thats all.
okayes.
going out now.
byes.




its impossible to forget
but possible to neglect
im trying to face the truth
your never coming back

















Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It’s hard to say it
Time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it
Time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye




went out with my clique today plus my lil brother.
my pants DROP.
so malu.
haha.
anyway.
dont really have the mood to blog.
bye.

memories i try to forget




HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BROTHER!!!
JOYCELOWKUANHUI!
HAHA/
THANKS FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR ME.
EVEN THOUGH SOMETIMES WE QUARREL.
I MEAN NOT MORE THAN A MINUTE.
HAHA.
ALL CAUSE BOTH OF US ARE STONE HEADED.
HAHA.
BUT OTHER THAN THAT.
THANKS FOR ALWAYS BEING BY MY SIDE.
WHEN IM ALWAYS DEPRESSED BOUT HER.
YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE.
THANKS MAN.
NOW YOUR SIXTEEN!
WOOHOO!
GO PIERCE YOUR EAR LA!
HAHA.
ANYWAY.
YOU JUST TURN SIXTEEN.
NOT FAIR OKAYES.
IM ALR TURNING SEVENTEEN LIKE SOON.
HAHA.
SOUND SO OLD SIA.
OKAYE LA.
I THINK THATS BOUT IT.
AGAIN.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER!
lets not part as brothers, ever.
your not my bestfriend.
we dont believe in that word.
you are my brother.
thats mose special than a bestfriend okaye.
haha.
bye brother.




my cousin
the next room
sometimes i wish
she was you




i belong to me
i dont belong to you
my heart is my posession
i see my own reflection


had band yesterday.
sectionals was fun as usual.
but yesterday was kinda like more fun.
cause i was darn hyper since the time i reach band room.
haha.
then tuba section went BIZARRE.
haha.
actually i started it la.
haha.
i said MOOOOOOO in the tuba.
then sharon started making all kinds of animal sounds.
HAHA.
then sharon make the shitting sound.
i make the poop dropping sound.
jasmine make the flushing sound.
haha.

then we rushed to town/
YOKE WAN ah.
she say the way faster.
end up it was a LONG journey okaye.
haha/
then they ate at pepper lunch there.
thenrushed to the movies.
wanted to buy the tickets skali the show is N21.
AHLAMAK.
so we ended up watching the con somthing.
haha.
it was boring yet darn nice.
me and sharon like their eyes.
whole thing black.
haha.
then ended at about 9 plus plus ah.
then waited for my dad with sharon and vivyan.
then sent them off.
ya.
i think being hyper whole day is very tiring.
haha.
but i like...
alfee law.
where are you.
i miss my lil sister.
haha.
randomZ.
byes


im moving on




time pass us by
without us realising
cause basically what we do in school
is just playing

even after all the fights
we had with one another
we still stayed close
and was there for each other

now we only have little time left
for us to treasure
so what i can say is
lets stay close together

i will miss you guys
like so darn much
after i say all these
you all BETTER be touched[haha]

i didnt regret coming to st margs
cause thats where i had the best of friends
thats also the place
where i got my first mense[HAHAHAH!]

all the laughters all the cries
all the 'truth' and
all the lies[most of the time]

all the screams
all the shouts
all the pms ing
and all the doubts

no matter how you do for Ns
i know we tried our best
dont ever give up on yourself
no matter how the truth depends

four eight.
we did our best.
whatever the circumstances will be like,
never give up.
love you guys.
rmb tht.
: )




its been a long time since i blog.
heh.
been busy.
ive been busy thinking bout my life.
and how much ive been wasting my life
living in a world of lies
living in a world of impossible hopes.
thanks cai for waking me up.
i mean after you said all those.
i was darn angry.
but not at you.
but at myself/
talked to jas.
bathed like mad.
till i was too weak to even talk.
so i tried to sleep.
ended up sleeping at 3.
woke up late then went to school at 10.
saw bro and start bathing again.
shish.
went for band.
pretended nothing happened.
but everytime i played the tuba tears were just waiting to flow.
it was a drastic day man.
but i thought to myself.
i mean. band is band.
outside band is outside band.
my section was unusually quiet.
so thanks to chin i became hyper again.
then my section started to get high too.
just love them.
i mean now i realise how much time ive been wasting,
lying to myself.
if she dont care why must i.
thses few days its very strange of me to actually hate thinking of her.
so i ended up not thinking bout her.
darn man.
i cant explain how much freedom i felt.
im happy with the way it is now.

maybe i just want to move on with my life.
maybe after im done with the gifts.
then i wanna move on.
move on with my life.
without you in it.
maybe thats best for both of us.



tuba section.
i just want to tell you guys tht
i love you guys to bits.




have not been sleeping well this few days.
got lots of things to do.
actually i dont know what to say anymore.
theres nothing to say.
theres nothing to do.


you all asked me to stop caring before.
when now i say i really cant be bothered bout her,
you ll say dont.
whats this man?
a ya.

i think its too long that ive been waiting.
that now feelings turning numb.
you happy?
well i am.

okayes now at jas house.
sorry cai for being late.
shes there at tiong bahru alr and we're still here.
hee.
byes.

every word i say is true,
this is promise you.

bold italics underline



please.



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