next year time to buck up.
well my next year resolution.
- stop it with you.
- EYE CANDY(dont think far. for books not people.haha)
- MUG MUG MUG AND MUG!
- be top in malay.
- straight A for maths the whole year.
- practice hard for syf.
- reduce the time wasted on you.

i think thats all for now.
now is like 4 am?
so my brain not functioning well.
ahaha.
bbye : )
















CAIYAN!
WHY MUST YOU POST THT!!!
SOCIAL SUICIDE!!!
SO MALU MANZ!
SHARON!
YOUR FAULT!
HMPH!

ANYWAYS!
MS TAYAR panchet,
CAN I GO TO THE TOILET?
HAHAHA!
inside joke.
hahah.
not bad cai.
HAHHA.
darn funny.

and also.
you know something.
I LIKE TO WATCH INDIAN SHOWS.
haha.
seriously.
hee.

okayes.
byebye.
had fun going out with you all mans.
deathnote 2 was not bad.




THIS IS THE WORK OF ALL THE PERVERT MANZ! CAICAIYAN & SHARON GOH XUEPING!

well me and sharon was bored. so yeahh.ha

this friend of mine has deprived childhood.
so dont mind.haha.
CHIN WHERE ARE YOU?!haha
retarded sharon as usual. HAHA!








jassy new shirt. haha
i think jassy hair like shin. DONT BE EGO JASSY!
just look at my bed. haha. isit messy or isit messy. haha
this show seriously rocks.





me and jassy at her house.
HAHAH. she look cute here right?
maybe not..hmm. haha.
shh! she dont know i put.haha

in cab on the way to school.

the uncle was so funny. he wanted us to

take his photo. haha. like SO NO THANKS lar.

in the chicken shop at coro,
for the FIRST time, jassy and cai

tried something NEW. which seriously,

please agree tht it looks disgusting.haha

DUH. jassy eat wan wht. haha

thats all for today.
bbye.




darn happy today please.
i met my mum at her workplace.
then went out with her,
to bedok there.
then walked around at the place.
i DIDNT expect her to really agree to buying me a phone.
then she asked to ask daddy.
so i called.
and HE ALLOWED.
i was like freaking happy lar.
then buy alr.
went to cik nia house.
then daddy came.
after tht we went back to the hp shop.
END UP,
daddy bought phone.
adik bought phone.
haha.
darn funny.
not rly used to my new phone.
but yea,
will make do to it.
yar.
byes : )
meeting cai sharon and jas at jassy house tomorrow.


rain's making me moody.
blea




Waiting for your call,
I'm sick,
call I'm angry
call I'm desperate for your voice

Listening to the song
we used to sing
In the car,
do you remember
Butterfly,
Early Summer

It's playing on repeat,
Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and pollished,
I am new,
I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious,
you and me,
flesh to flesh

Cause every breath that you will take
when you are sitting next to me
will bring life into my deepest hopes,
What's your fantasy?
(What's your, what's your...)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
x4
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)




can anyone please tell me why am i like this.
why do i bother when i alr see this coming?
why do i care tht this happen?
when i knew this would happen.
when i knew it would be like before.
when i knew i couldnt trust.
why?
ANYWAYS.
merry christmas people.
and im back.
(like anyone even bother)




dear santa,
i want nothing for this christmas.
but just for her to be there.
and not to go away.
i want her friendship.
nothing more.
i know ive been a bad girl.
but you know i wanted nothing but this.
merry christmas santa.




wells,
i cant believe i spent the whole time in the car watching PRINCESS HOURS!
seriously didnt expect myself,
to get addicted to the story.
MAN!
cant yul and hyo ri get out from the picture.
like wht the.
but they are darn poor thing.
after watching the series,
i dont know why but i started reflecting my own lifestory.

based on hyo ri,
she was reminded by memories she had with shin.
even took pills to see shin happy with another girl.
hey you cant blame her.
the feeling sucks!
oh wells,
its just A story.

ANYWAYS,
going home tomorrow.
yea.
you knw wht.
i dont know why,
i feel different now.
i dont know.
al,
i suddenly wish to remind you this.
friendship lost longer than any relationship shits.
love the person, miss the person.
do whtever you want.
but let it remain as friendship.
learnt my lesson.
i feel better now.
okaye.
wht crap i talking?
i dont know.
as usual i talk crap.
okayes bye : )



/what i want for christmas?
well even if i told Santa what i wanted,
i know i would never get it.




yang terindah
the most beautiful thing
terlukis di bibir mu
is there on your lips
tak pernahku lihat senyummu
ive never seen you smile like that for me
sebegitu
pudarkah sudah cinta yang ku beri
has my love gone dry,you had to run to him
berwarna-warni segala
it sound wonderful and nice
yang dijanjikan ia
the future that he's promising you


chorus
usah biarku bersendirian
dont leave me here all alone
usah biar hatimu ditawan
dont give your heart away to him
usah biar diri ku di sini
dont leave me standing here
seorang menunggu tanpa teman
alone waiting with nothing

usah lepas genggaman tanganmu
dont let go of my hand
usah biar semua berlalu
dont throw everything away
usah terlupa perasaan hati
dont forget the way we felt
pertama kali kita bertemu
the first time we met

usah lepaskan
dont let it go

bridge
tak mudah ku melupa sagala yang berlalu
its hard for me just to forget about us
ku ingin selalu bersama mu
i only wish to always be with you

ku tak peduli apa sebabnya
i dont care what the reason is
engkau dan dia harus bersama
you should be together with him
mendungnya langit bila berkata
i dont care if the heavens dont agree
kita patutnya masih bercinta
you and me should still be in love
usah lepaskan
dont let it go

usah lepaskan
usah lepaskan




this song is my blog song.
this is one of FEW(take note:very few) malay songs tht i got addicted to.
DUH, cause its sang by TAUFIK.
haha.
the translation is the sentences not BOLD.
so those dont understand, know the meaning still.
: )
just the very first time i heard the song,
i totally got into the song.
oh wells,
its just nice.
bye : )




emotions stirred.
mind confused.
thats what im facing right now.
a yar,
fark it lar.
kanasai.




well,
im not suprised.
history's repeating itself.
well its expected lar.
im even tired to react to it lar.
so yea.
go and die lar.


; but i do love you still




if you ask me what im thinking,
HELLO!
if i know i wouldnt be confused.
a ya.
dont know la.













WELCOME WELCOME.
LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO MISS PIGGY bidin.
hahha.













and her partner,
MISS CHU ping.
HAHAHA.










a ya.
im a natural pig la.
forever sleeping.
i know.
hee.










BUDDY ABUSE!!!
jasmine lau and sharon.
ahhaa.











this was what we were doing when we were stuck outside jamsine's house tht day after band camp. haha.










look at how bored she was/
well maybe caus ei was sleeping and didnt bother bout her.
haha











see! i told you i was sleeping.












CHEF cai cooked this!
darn nice!
try it man!


DONT BE SHOCKED IF I SAY THIS!


BIDIN cooked this.


and seriously,


it was NOT bad at all.
it was actually very nice.
haha.




today.
gonna have mly lesson.
after tht will be going out with shahirah.
darn bored now.
haven bath.
hee.
anyway.
N results.
well made it through.
thts the good news.
but disappointed in my marks la.
i mean there are improvements.
but seriously.
i know i could do better.
so for Os.
man!
ill give my best.
no time to think of anything else,
even though sometimes i just cant help it but to think of you.
but thts just accidental.
but other than tht.
all for studies.
nothing'a more important than studies now.


one more year.
actually less than a year.
everything's gonna change.
no more secondary school lifestyle.
no more my class.
seriously,
i wonder how life's gonna be like.
but i sure dont wish to know too.



/ if only time could pause,
if only it could




CHINESE CINDERELLA!!!
rocks to the ultra max man!
i love the book man!
its like ULTRA good la please!
okaye.
call me slow.
alot of people read it before.
but who cares.
its darn nice.
haha.



went out with bidin and karen.
went kbox.
yea then sent to clementt,
then went off.
yea.
today i very dead.
dont know why.
like very mono tone.
i dont feel like blogging ah.
byes.

eh you,
alfee law,
you ah.
stop worrying whether you'll lose me as a friend or wht.
thts a stupid thing to worry about.
cause you never did.
and will never do.
you'll never lose me.
okaye?
so stop crying over this matter anymore.
smile : )
to me,
you come first.
cause when no one was there for me,
you were.
and seriously,
thanks for making me feel so important.
i was darn touched by your words yesterday.
thanks girl.
and DUH you miss me.
haha.
kidding.
missed you too.
soyea.
thts bout it.
: )




im back from o.
just had movie marathon today.
okaye la.
as usual.

anyway, you gave an answer.
alrights.
you know wht im just going with the flow.
i mean.
a ya.
dont know la.
dont wanna waste my time on this.
as long as you know how i feel and i know how you feel.(even though i dont)
and wa lao.
people buy for you the cow.
you leave at jasmine house just like tht.
not mean whts.
: l
nevermind.
forget it.
byes people/


FOUR MORE DAYS TO GO....




answer me just this,
if there wasnt any restrictions,
if you werent bothered bout anything,
would you go with me?

i just want to know.
right now im just going with the flow.




TUBA SECTION,
YOU GUYS ROCK.

okaye.
tht was random.
but i mean it you guys.
anyway.
concert yesterday was okaye la.
as usual.
but not THE best la.
anyways, it went well.
met new friends.
gain lots of new stuff from dr lynch.
yea.


call me spare tyre or wht fark.
but feelings wont fade.
BUT veen though feelings wont fade, doesnt mean ill wait.
do i make sense?
no.
but its hard to trust again.




I shouldn't love you
but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you
but I can't move
I can't look away
I shouldn't love you
but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you
but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus:]
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus]
This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here

[Chorus]

this song.
is what im trying to tell you.
please understand me.
im sorry for loving you/




whats in your blog i read.
i dont give a darn on who its referring to la.
i dont la you.
one day here one day there.
you tell me after all SHITS how to trust again.
now suddenly feel so close to you.
but you know what.
ill try to avoid.
cause im just afraid.
if i fall for it, ill go deep.
and when you disappear again, ill break down.
HOW.
i just dont know what to do.
when your close to me, i just freeze.
my mind turned blank.
I DONT WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY!
you wanna know why!?
CAUSE IM SCARED I CANT HANDLE IT WHEN YOU LEAVE ME AGAIN!!!
YOU GET IT!
EVERYTIME I SEE YOUR FACE,
ONE SIDE REMINDS ME HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME.
ANOTHER REMINDS ME OF YOU, BEING ATTACHED TO SOMEONE ELSE!
THIS FEELING SUCKS YOU KNOW!
I HATE IT!
but,
i still love you.
ALOT.




come sit right next to me
just hear what ive got to say
tht i love you but i dont want you
tht i cant let go but i dont wish for you to stay

yea i know im not making sense
i myself cant understand
but i know when your near me
i just feel so tensed

its like i cant trust whtever you say
whtever happens tomorrow
can actually me the opposite of today

ive got enoguh of your lies
ive got enough of frickle minded ness
till now i feel so numb
feel as if my heads gonna burst

please i ask of you
please stop doing this to me
if you have someone new,just look at me in the eye
and say, "FEE LET GO OF ME!"

i promise you without any hesitation
ill stop waiting for you
i wont ever come your way anymore
ill even stop contacting too

please i beg of you
stop playing with my feelings
yes i know you mean SO MUCH to me
how long more i need to go through this hurting

please understand my situation
i LOVE YOU SO BLARDY MUCH
but i know its one sided
actually even though i miss you and all,
im somehow happy we ended

im weird right?
i know.
a ya.
FEEFI WHATS WRONG WITH YOU.
TODAY SHE LIKE THIS.
TOMRO SHE WILL BE LIKE THT.
dont fall for it?
i dont know.
/her eyes kills

wht i did for you for your birthday
was i could afford and thought of.
if you dont get the main idea,
well im here to say it out.
you mean like so darn much to me.
you asked me if i hate rihanna song-unfaithful?
wanna know something?
i like the song.
but hate it cause of you.
i hate the feeling of losing you.
even though ive lost you long time ago.
okaye.
am i making sense?
dont think so.
okaye forget it.
/i love you.
please understand me.
i ask for nothing more but just for you,
to tell me to give up on you.
dont know if you'll understand this.
but if ever come the time tht i hate you like shiat,
its all cause i love you.
maybe i have no rights to use the word 'love' to you.
i know its wrong.
if 'love' isnt the word,
i dont know wht else it is.
but i know i never felt like these before.


no one made me like this before.
no one made me so happy before.
but yet,
no one has made me cry as much before.
no one made e breakdown before.
only you.

bold italics underline



please.



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